So Much More

“Deese”… this word is typically the companion to a pointed finger as my fifteen-month-old granddaughter attempts to communicate that she wants something. I think she’s saying “this”… and the intensity of her request is often combined with a quick swipe of her right hand across her chest as she signs the word “please.”

When Malia wants something, you know.

Her unmasked passion for “more” and her need for help propel her toward the exposed expression of her heart. By contrast, my muted desires and self-sufficiency hide… and most likely dull the craving for more. Self-control has given way to lowered expectations and I confine what needs to be liberated.

Consequently, the “fire in my belly” becomes a controlled burn. I constrain what should be unleashed. I’m afraid to ask for “deese,” for “more”… because I might be disappointed, or I might not understand God’s plan… so I stop short. I harness. I confine my requests to what I can conceive of as attainable.

And as a result, I miss something… perhaps I miss everything.

I miss the explosion of God’s miraculous power… and I miss the “peace that passes understanding” because I’ve put borders around the disappointment.

More. Please more.

Of Jesus. Of His Kingdom. Of His people. Of His call. Of His heart. Of intimacy with Him.

As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him. ~ Mark 5:18

A soul set free wants more. An unleashed heart begs to be with Jesus. For “deese”… please “deese.”

What if I were prepared to embrace the uncertainty that comes from asking… what if I trusted my Father to sift through the providence of the request… but never to disqualify the passion because of feasibility. What if I took all of the “deese” to the Father and I let Him be God. What if… I stoked the embers of my fire… and I admitted that I need help… What if?

More… so much more.

Please.